You know you have a two year-old in the house when you're required to have torturous conversations like these:
Molly (pointing to random illustration of a father in a picture book): "What's his name?"
Me: "Hmm? Um, I don't know his name."
Molly: "What's his name????"
Me: "I don't really know. It doesn't actually say..."
Molly: "WHAT'S HIS NAME???"
Me: "Harold, okay? Let's say his name is Harold."
Molly, momentarily mollified: "Oh, so his name is Harold? How old is Harold?"
Me: "I'm not sure..."
Molly: "HOW OLD IS HAROLD???"
Me: "Um...I think he's 35."
Molly: "Oh. How old is his nose?"
Me: "35."
Molly: "How old is his chin?"
Me: "35."
Molly: "How old is his elbow?"
Me: "35."
Molly: "How old is his UDDER elbow?"
Me: "35."
Molly: "How old is his bellybutton?"
Me: "35."
Molly: "How old are his eyelashes?"
Me: "THIRTY FIVE!! EVERYTHING ON HIS BODY IS 35!!"
I've been broken.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Monday, January 28, 2013
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Soccer With a Smile
Playing soccer and smiling is a lot of work!
Friday, January 25, 2013
Park Day, Thanks to MLK
This weekend, while we were enjoying a family park outing thanks to Martin Luther King, Joey started gushing about our nation's civil rights hero.
"If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be able to play with kids that were a different color than me," he told Tim.
We know exactly one child who is African-American in Moraga, so we were puzzled by Joey's excitement level.
"Who wouldn't you be able to play with?" Tim asked.
"I wouldn't be able to play with Rylen, since he's white, and I'm tan!" he replied.
Phew! Thank God for the civil rights movement, or even our own kids might not be able to play together!
"If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be able to play with kids that were a different color than me," he told Tim.
We know exactly one child who is African-American in Moraga, so we were puzzled by Joey's excitement level.
"Who wouldn't you be able to play with?" Tim asked.
"I wouldn't be able to play with Rylen, since he's white, and I'm tan!" he replied.
Phew! Thank God for the civil rights movement, or even our own kids might not be able to play together!
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Otherwear
I blocked out this week to do two horrific things: potty train and embark on the Cabbage Soup Diet.
After only two days, I'm already disgusted with cabbage soup, and feel like my entire body reeks of stewed vegetables. But the good news is that I've already lost two pounds, and it appears that our littlest munchkin is by far our most gifted in the toileting department.
She just turned two and a half, which in my (lazy parenting) book is too early for potty training. But at the urging of her preschool teacher, who pretty much promised me that she is too smart for her own good and would be done in a day, I mentally prepared for a week of chasing after a naked toddler and crouching over a potty seat in our smallest bathroom. I bought Clorox spray, loaded up on paper towels, and even sprung for a potty that plays princess tunes.
We stripped her down, bought the tiniest underwear on the market, and realized just how small she really is. We decided that if she was an Indian maiden, her name would definitely be Little Bottom. And we also realized that her clothing options are seriously limited now, with no diaper to help hold her pants up. Where she gets this little bottom is a complete mystery, but I digress.
Little Bottom could not have been more jazzed to get the party started. She is obsessed with her new "otherwear," loves her new toilet, and rewarded me immediately with the pitter-patter sound of her little feet running back and forth to the bathroom all day the first day. She's truly a "big gill" now and even is requesting some space in the bathroom, asking me repeatedly, "Can you give me some privacy please?"
It turns out, she is a total natural. We've had only three accidents in two days, and while I hesitate to jinx myself, I'm calling this mission a success!
Let's hope this bodes well for the results of the Cabbage Soup Diet!
After only two days, I'm already disgusted with cabbage soup, and feel like my entire body reeks of stewed vegetables. But the good news is that I've already lost two pounds, and it appears that our littlest munchkin is by far our most gifted in the toileting department.
She just turned two and a half, which in my (lazy parenting) book is too early for potty training. But at the urging of her preschool teacher, who pretty much promised me that she is too smart for her own good and would be done in a day, I mentally prepared for a week of chasing after a naked toddler and crouching over a potty seat in our smallest bathroom. I bought Clorox spray, loaded up on paper towels, and even sprung for a potty that plays princess tunes.
We stripped her down, bought the tiniest underwear on the market, and realized just how small she really is. We decided that if she was an Indian maiden, her name would definitely be Little Bottom. And we also realized that her clothing options are seriously limited now, with no diaper to help hold her pants up. Where she gets this little bottom is a complete mystery, but I digress.
Little Bottom could not have been more jazzed to get the party started. She is obsessed with her new "otherwear," loves her new toilet, and rewarded me immediately with the pitter-patter sound of her little feet running back and forth to the bathroom all day the first day. She's truly a "big gill" now and even is requesting some space in the bathroom, asking me repeatedly, "Can you give me some privacy please?"
It turns out, she is a total natural. We've had only three accidents in two days, and while I hesitate to jinx myself, I'm calling this mission a success!
Let's hope this bodes well for the results of the Cabbage Soup Diet!
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Feeding the Beast
Parenting each of our kids is so much about speaking each of their unique "love languages." I was prepared for hugs, kisses and snuggles, bonding over books, art projects or sports, but I never thought providing food -- and lots of it -- would be the easiest and most surefire way to connect with Joey.
At seven, he just crossed over to 70 pounds on the scale, putting him at the very top of the charts along with his height. He works hard at keeping his figure, and his thoughts never stray far from the fridge, the pantry, the oven and the stovetop. He can easily put away adult-size portions at home, going back for seconds and thirds, and in restaurants, we often -- embarrassingly -- order him either a huge entree or two kid meals. When he can't make up his mind between ordering a hamburger or spaghetti and meatballs, we know he'll happily eat both.
He's the kid you really want to have over to your house because he'll mow through your fruit basket and show your kids just how delicious pears, apples, and oranges really are, and then rifle through your vegetable drawer looking for carrots, bell pepper, cauliflower and celery. But he's also generated shock and awe at playdates, while other parents watch him wolf down his own lunch and then ask for the remains of his playmates' half-eaten meal.
We've learned to keep the milk carton parked on the table for dinner because he goes back for refills twice, and a box of cereal can be wiped out in one morning if we're not careful at breakfast.
In short, we're pretty scared of Joey as a teenager if this is what he's like at seven!
His hungriest time of day is when he steps through the doorway after school, grumpy and exhausted. He immediately heads to the dining room table and takes a seat, and I can practically hear his tummy grumbling as I get a snack together for him. He's not picky -- whether it's graham crackers and peanut butter, cookies, banana bread, or a plate of salami and cheese, he's just happy to have food in front of him while he tackles homework and dishes about his day.
I never thought I would be the mom serving cookies and milk in the kitchen at the end of the school day. But this monster eater has made me rethink lots of things I thought would never do. And now I find myself making muffins, breads, cookies and much more --- all so I can speak his love language when he gets home.
At seven, he just crossed over to 70 pounds on the scale, putting him at the very top of the charts along with his height. He works hard at keeping his figure, and his thoughts never stray far from the fridge, the pantry, the oven and the stovetop. He can easily put away adult-size portions at home, going back for seconds and thirds, and in restaurants, we often -- embarrassingly -- order him either a huge entree or two kid meals. When he can't make up his mind between ordering a hamburger or spaghetti and meatballs, we know he'll happily eat both.
He's the kid you really want to have over to your house because he'll mow through your fruit basket and show your kids just how delicious pears, apples, and oranges really are, and then rifle through your vegetable drawer looking for carrots, bell pepper, cauliflower and celery. But he's also generated shock and awe at playdates, while other parents watch him wolf down his own lunch and then ask for the remains of his playmates' half-eaten meal.
We've learned to keep the milk carton parked on the table for dinner because he goes back for refills twice, and a box of cereal can be wiped out in one morning if we're not careful at breakfast.
In short, we're pretty scared of Joey as a teenager if this is what he's like at seven!
His hungriest time of day is when he steps through the doorway after school, grumpy and exhausted. He immediately heads to the dining room table and takes a seat, and I can practically hear his tummy grumbling as I get a snack together for him. He's not picky -- whether it's graham crackers and peanut butter, cookies, banana bread, or a plate of salami and cheese, he's just happy to have food in front of him while he tackles homework and dishes about his day.
I never thought I would be the mom serving cookies and milk in the kitchen at the end of the school day. But this monster eater has made me rethink lots of things I thought would never do. And now I find myself making muffins, breads, cookies and much more --- all so I can speak his love language when he gets home.
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Winter Ball
After getting off the school bus at 3:30, Joey has two hours of daylight before he needs to be inside, and there's not much -- besides baseball -- that makes him happier than escaping the house and his sisters and shooting baskets in the driveway. Even if the temperature is hovering just above freezing.
I love his red-cheeked determination and his tongue-sticking-out concentration.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Cra-Shawnas and Ice Skating Collisions
Four days after Christmas, we ventured to the city for some winter fun and our annual ice skating workout.
Our kids are growing, and this ice session wasn't nearly as painful as previous ones. Instead of hunching over a dead-weight toddler and propelling them around the ice, and getting an excruciating upper-body workout at the same time, I got to skate at Clara's side, the two of us extremely shaky, but gliding in a respectable way -- for Californians. Meanwhile, Joey lapped the two of us repeatedly, speed-stomping around the ice with his shoulders hunched forward, with all the aggression of a hockey player, but none of the finesse. Molly watched from the sidelines on Tim's lap, mostly content, and munched on her favorite treat -- a "cra-shawna" (crossiant).
Wow, I thought, we've come a long way! We should come back and do this tomorrow!
And then, at the tail end of our session, we discovered that actually, ice skating with two adults and three kids leaves you open to the very real possibility of one kid crashing on the ice spectacularly -- with no parent in sight to witness it. Apparently, Joey's stomping/ galloping technique led to a face-first landing on the ice. Strangers had to help him up, lead him to the side of the rink, and help him look for his negligent parents so that they could tend to his bloody cheek.
And so ended our ice skating adventures of 2012!
Monday, January 14, 2013
Vegas for Little People
Sometimes it pays off when your daddy travels to Vegas for work and pleasure more than most dads we know. We were able to celebrate Joey's 7th birthday in style at Palazzo for free, thanks to a free room for three nights. We may have been more than the hotel bargained for, but we managed to cram two adults, three kids, three suitcases, a stroller and a lot of loud energy into one little corner of the strip, and explored all that Vegas has to offer for little people.
Hop and Mop drove out to meet us and stay at the same hotel, and we bundled up against coooold winter temps in Vegas, and did lots of walking and sightseeing. Our favorites were the Secret Garden at the Mirage, where a dozen dolphins were mere feet away, doing flips, saying hi, playing and eating.
We continued with the underwater theme by swinging by the aquarium at the Silverton Hotel, where a mermaid visits once per day. Joey was both terrified and mortified to be anywhere near this spectacle, but Clara was mesmerized, and had no problem pushing adults and kids out of the way as she jockeyed for prime viewing position.
If the kids had had their way, we would have spent days in the Adventuredome at Circus Circus, a huge indoor arena with rides, rollercoasters, a carousel, games, laser tag and a movie theater.
We ended our stay with a birthday dinner at the Tournament of Kings feast and show at the Excalibur. With live jousting, real horses galloping around the arena and knights somersaulting off of castle ledges with swords in their hands, we knew it would be a hit with our brand-new 7 year-old, but the show kept the girls entertained as well. Thankfully we had lots of laps to spread out on, with Hop and Mop there to help celebrate!
Unfortunately, what happened in Vegas did not stay in Vegas. We came home with an entire menagerie of stuffed animals, thanks to the games at the Adventuredome, and a stomach bug that luckily waited to strike until we were all safely off the plane, unpacked and settled in! It was very good to be home!
Happy birthday, Joey!
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Friday, January 11, 2013
What a Difference a Year Makes
This group of eight Raley cousins has grown a lot! Here they are gracing Hop and Mop's Christmas card in 2011, and again in 2012. And I wonder where I get my compulsive need to match and coordinate my kids? ;)
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